The hard facts always fascinated me...but to make one for one's own self...is another thing altogether...Actually i had the perception of everything so perfect..so straight. But that's not the case. Sometimes you have to think hard for making the right path for yourself without ever regretting about it in the future later. I know it seems harder and harder..'cause its easier said than done.
I had never done this before..it seems as if...i have a new self in me..about whom i had no knowledge till now...it is now hard to concentrate on things...everything seems to work the opposite ways...
Nop not now...not this time..cant turn back now...it will be like being a coward...it will be like cheating with the body..with the soul..with the heart..with the mind but most importantly with the truth...which is there inside...it is small...very small...but always made me breath...always made sure that i did the right thing. Its not that i have always spoken the truth...its also not that iam only going to speak the truth..its just that to speak the truth when it was needed from you...it becomes worth...its like a full circle...its the circle of happiness...but it should be complete...with no cracks...no holes...i still have them...
The Time for me has come to make most of it...Time for me always had one thing to signify...the state of day and night...but now my thoughts have gone beyond the days and nights...i need more of it...i dont want to explain to myself...but now i have to...no hiding from my own self...no matter for how long i dont look at the mirror for myself...i cant make the thoughts within, that are looking for me every single moment...checking my moves...making me realise the importance for the instance of time...but no...not giving me any clue...for what to do...and what not...
I guess its right when one says that struggling with the person is more easy then struggling with your own self. I never thought i would be arguing for the rights i carry with me...it still seems as if i dont know myself yet...maybe i never knew and never answered or never wanted to answer the question, "Who are you?".
Every now an then i feel that, God please make the world stop...just stop...no movement at all...no mind to think...no heart to feel...but thats impossible...and i know it...God, it is so difficult to help one's ownself ! Yes...i make myself...relax for few seconds, by saying to "me" that...there is always something eternal...something deep within...thats going to tell you what to do...and like a fool...I am waiting...but there is no confrontation...with eternity.
I was always a pessimist...no not beacause i have lost every battle in life...no...but because i thought of losing and losing and losing...I have never given the respect that i must give myself...the certificates and the prizes that "i" deserved
The truth in me is preparing me for the battle i have to win...and not just win but win it comprehensively...yes, i have to make everyone comfortable...everyone in peace...every one happy...the heart...the mind...the soul...the days, i live...the nights, i think...and the time, i consume with me...every second...yes! everyone,must feel content with me...yes they should make me proud and be proud of me.
Yes iam suddenly asking alot from "me", but this will have to end, for something else in life to begin...but cant seem to find the right arrow...to hit the target...but it has to be a bull's eye...a perfect shot...for a perfect score...and i know it will happen, one fine morning,and i will always be grateful for "me" for making me what iam today...
....and the writing has stopped...and now i have started to discover...what i want...and soon hope i get the answer from me...soon...very soon...yes i believe it will echo in me...telling me...and not instructing me...i have become optimistic now...and the heart is praying for me...that i stay that way...and iam ready to invent a new "me"...hoping for the best !!!!
